The Stroke

In an effort to not be so freaking serious.....

This has been circulating among my mom facebook friends today:

I carried a child within my body ♥ Slept with them on my chest ♥ I've kissed little toes & wiped away tears ♥ I've been vomited on, peed on & spent sleepless nights cradling my child, but I wouldn't have it any other way ♥ My body isn't magazine perfect, but when I look in the mirror I see a Mama… and there is no greater honor, love or blessing! ♥ Post this if you are a very proud Mama!

Ugh, seriously? Let's be more sentimental shall we?  I swear moms only post this garbage to stroke their own ego. (Yep, that explains the ever so clever title. It's also stuck in my head all the time because it's Meg's favorite song, second only to Last Friday Night)  But back on point, we get it, you're a mom. It's a momentus thing for your body to do what it was designed to do, and you did it!  Go you!

Here, I'll rewrite this. Real talk. 

I carried a child within my body [and complained for about 9 months, reproduction is kind of gross] ♥ Slept with them on my chest [with my homework just out of reach.... goodbye productivity] ♥ I've kissed little toes & wiped away tears [no smart ass comment here, this is actually something I adore about parenting] ♥ I've been vomited on [thanks Bay...], peed on [Megan's personal favorite, however Bailey manages to aim outside of her diaper, she's a talented young girl] & spent sleepless nights cradling my child [Negative, Bay nursed, I slept, and we use the baby daddy for the rest], but I wouldn't have it any other way [Except I would. I would've graduated college first and done everything different...] ♥ My body isn't magazine perfect [Who's that stopping?  I'm still a MILF], but when I look in the mirror I see a Mama [Whose Calvin Kleins are fitting better and better by the day I might add]… and there is no greater honor [Because who takes the Nobel Peace Prize seriously since President Obama won anyway?], love or blessing! ♥ Post this if you are a very proud Mama [Who happens to also realize life exists beyond her children, did in fact exist before, and will still exist later when they've moved out and moved on with their lives]!

There you have it!  New and improved annoying facebook chain status update.  You're welcome.

Mother's Day 2011

Our 3rd Annual Mother's Day Photo.  As is tradition, she cried for the 3rd year in a row