There are a few things I have ALWAYS remembered my dad saying. Some was absolutely crazy, some was just goofy and some was actually quite deep:#1.
The crazy. "Two things you should never talk about are politics and religion, especially since you're a girl."
Ooops. Don't worry me not listening isn't a post his death thing. I didn't listen when he was alive either. And let's not forget... he was wrong. It's okay Pop, no one is perfect. I'm only close.
#2.
The goofy. "Don't smoke don't chew and don't go with the girls that do."
Obviously, I had to switch this to "boys that do." And.. oops again.
#3.
"The young can and the old must." He was talking about death here. It was his way of warning me that I wasn't garunteed to have him. But, it's also helped me to not only realize that I'm not immortal but to also cope with losing someone that you just shouldn't because they're far too young.
Notice how I didn't listen quite a bit? So I guess Now that I'm the parent I catch myself saying things that fit in these same categories and thank God my girls probably won't listen to me either.
#1.
The crazy. "Megan don't say sucks, I'd rather you say f*ck than that."
Right, I have no idea what I was thinking here. NO IDEA. However, I really do not want her to say sucks, that's not an okay word to say. So I end up having the, "Mommy is sorry Megan, those are both grown up words and I don't want you saying either." Apologizing to a 2 year old is pretty humbling. And I needed to. No one call CPS, okay? I meant well, I just failed, hard.
#2.
The goofy. "Bailey, you're pretty like your mommy." "uh-huh!" "Only, you have bigger feet, maybe you'll be taller like your uncle. If you're pretty like your mommy but taller you're pretty much going to be unstoppable.
(pause) You'll also be locked in the basement."
This might be goofy, but it's true. And she will be locked in the basement. I'm already coming to terms with prison when my girls are of dating age, you know, 40. That's why I'm studying Pre-Law, I'll need to defend myself in court someday. It's a reality.
And here's #3, I want them to listen to me here though... I'll just be toning it down and keeping it PG as they get older and start to understand. And yes, it fits in the other categories too, due to the fact that I tend to not have a filter anymore...
"Girls, it says a lot about a girl how much time she spends on her knees. (pause, stop and think) And... what she's doing when she's on them." Okay okay, I have no filter. Fail. But... hear me out. Unpack this for a minute.
This is a true statement. I was actually talking to them after we had finished praying (see, not a terrible parent, too terrible anyway). So here you have two ends of the "on your knees" spectrum. The first is obviously prayer, the time a girl spends praying his important. And the the other end of the spectrum. Put two and two together, you're adults figure it out. Now, I know which end I want my daughters to be on. Refer to statement #2 and my ultimate destination in prison.
When Pop was in the hospital I remember kneeling at the end of the bed and praying about everything. Hard. I prayed hard. I actually felt the most at peace and confident afterward. It was so important that I do that, kneeling before the Lord really ended up giving me the strength I needed. And in this instance it was absolutely crucial that I fell on my knees, I remember feeling foolish, but I just did it and I needed to. The Lord strengthened me for what was about to happen. All I could do was surrender totally and I knew it.
Some will argue, "hey I'm a 21st century girl I'm empowered to do whatever I want." True. But keep in mind what you're so "free" to do will only result in you becoming a slave to it. You'll still surrender totally, but what are you surrendering to? Or who is the better question. The whole situation has the potential to be totally degrading, and it probably will be.
In high school, I remember being stopped after a See You At The Pole event by another student who said, "Wow, I didn't realize Annie could pray like that." People will see in your life and maybe first hand if you are a person of prayer. There's a woman at my church that I've known for a long, long time. If you ever need anyone to pray for you, you call her. She's an amazing woman and I have so much respect for her. And I think that proves my point right there. When a girl is on her knees for the right reasons she's respected and regarded well.
Do I really have to explain the other side here? You can get acclaim on this side too. You're going to wonder when the last guys co-worker asks you on a date if it's only to see if he's right though. That's no way to go on a date. Come on. That's not acclaim, that's degrading. Shop talk happens, don't be the subject willingly. Just don't put yourself there. You may not have bad things said about you directly but you aren't going to have what this woman at my church has, respect. Can you really be proud of this?
See unpacked, you can tell I meant well and it's my goal to raise good people. I hope that they remember this (the PG version) their whole lives though. I want them to realize how important it is to surrender totally to the Lord. I want them to have the kind of relationship with God that they know to get on their knees and pray about EVERYTHING.
Most importantly here, I want to set the example for them because unless I do it myself, I won't have even a shot that they'll listen to what I say.
Can we agree to never tell the kids some of the garbage I say now? Like, until I'm dead? Yeah?
Oh yeah, and I love the Family Circus. And, well, it seemed appropriate for today.
A few weeks ago now someone told me something that I just haven't been able to shake. "Where are your kids? What would they think of you being here?" I immediately got defensive and pulled my well used, "Between bedtime and breakfast is my time..." line. But I haven't been able to shake it, why? Because this fool was right. I hate that. But... he was right.
