63 years ago today Tom Hammock borrowed $5 to marry Ezell Franks, and they lived happily ever after.
Happy anniversary to my parents! This is like the only significant date that's turned out to be happier since Pop passsed away. Care to know why? He missed her. Big revelation there.
You know he could tell you down to the minute almost how long they'd been married. But he was counting all wrong. I saw that marriage in the post Ezell years and, boy he counted like he stopped being married on October 20, 1998. He didn't. He turned trampy neighbors down (Now, I know my dad was a stud, but GROSS, and a quick soapbox... don't you DARE come to his visitation and talk to me like I didn't know what you were really trying to do. I've been holding that in for 10 months now, man that felt good.), he turned dating services down (they started calling immediately I swear it was weird), he told Momo, "no!" when she suggested that after she pass away he try to take so-and-so out. She had our best interests in mind, she was just on narcotics. What the heck Mom!? Anyway, that man was just as married and devoted to my mom the day he died as the day he married her. I was telling someone about that this summer and he said, "that's how it's going to be when I get married." I have 545848742 reasons to believe he was lying, but... I don't. I don't because people want they had. I want what they had.
Now I know that people call it old fashioned and go further to say I was watching an outdated model and didn't know how to be married. Screw them. If it worked it was a good model and YES I expect the boy to hang stuff up and fix little things around the house. I'll help but that's primarly his area. I didn't ask for much help cooking and cleaning. And that's true I really didn't, it wasn't until two kids did I start asking for help with the bathroom once in a while because I just didn't get a chance. And I suck at laundry. Now that I'm in school I know I don't take on as much responsiblity as I should around here. I'm lucky to get groceries bought and dinner cooked and the house straightened let alone actually cleaned, so I don't clean floors or do laundry, those are his feminine jobs. But then again who was pregnant and shoveling our driveway and painting our house? Right I did some things he should've been responsible for back in the day. See that's important. You have seperate areas of expertise but you still help the other one. I saw that living with the Hammocks. Pop got the snowblower out and Momo and I got our shovels and did the porches and walkways. We helped him. Momo and I pretty much rocked the housecleaning while Pop was at work, we had time. But at the end of every day Momo washed the dishes, I dried them, and Pop put them away. Seperate, but overlapping roles. And again SCREW YOU if you think their model of marriage is what f*cked mine.
Was is perfect? I slept between them when I was little, guess what wasn't happening. That probably wasn't healthy. But Pop sure as heck didn't go anywhere else or make Momo feel like some kind of freak. She just wasn't an overly affectionate person, or as I'd like to call it, she was classy. And let's be real, they were old. So maybe that's the area people are referring to when they like to blame their marriage for the failing of mine. I can see their point, kind of. Anyone ever thought maybe Momo and I were just very similar in that whole area? No I sure did not kiss at my wedding, I'm not about to kiss someone with a whole room of people watching, plus we were in church. Gross. Doesn't mean I'm not okay with it in private. And note please, two kids in two years? Umm... I don't know about you but I'd rather do it the old fashioned way instead of invitro. Way cheaper. Now, I'm not going to make this blog gross, all I'm saying is there are reasons. Megan and her freaking huge head did a number on me. It was almost 2 years until I was back to normal. In those 2 years Sarah was already normal I guess, and Amber, and whoever else. Whatever, that was just my little defense. Because let me tell you, it's incredibly hurtful to hear that people close to you told your husband when news became public he cheated that "what you did wasn't right but we can see why you did it" and "we were just surprised it took you so long." I should punch those fools. Anyway, that's all I'm saying about that. Don't need too many agreeing on how awful I am.
The moral of the story here is that I was lucky enough to observe a wonderful marriage. They went through hell together. Momo wanted so badly to just spend time with my mom and my grandma when I was a kid. She loved them. But they didn't really come around until she got sick and that hurt her. They both had to bury their son, the child that honestly they had the best relationship with. Not trying to be mean but it's true. He came around and loved Momo probably even more than I do. Losing him was hard on them. They worked hard for everything they had. Then finally when Momo retired they were going to get to enjoy life. But that wasn't the case either. Here I came. And five years later, a "disability" and then cancer a year after that, and then Mom passed away in 98, only 8 years after she'd retired. But I'm so greatful they raised me and took on that burden and I'm so greatful Pop kept raising me after she died. They really were the best parents anyone could ask for and they had a fantastic marriage. There was only one time Momo told Pop she'd leave. Pop told me that was when my mom was living there, I don't know if that was when I was a kid or a baby, but anyway they had clashing personalities we'll call it and Momo finally told Pop it was her or Dawn. Pop made the right choice, Momo was his number one priority. When Pop told me this I was a little shocked. But I'm glad he shared stuff like that with me eventually, it made me feel like less of a freak. See Momo and I we have quite a few similarities and well that explains why my bio mom and I clash so much. He even said I was more like Momo and Garry that I was my bio mom and grandma. I only got 9 years with Momo but I can't help but think he knew what he was talking about. I just wish I could be as awesome as she was.
Really though, I've been all over the place with this post. A little crazy, I'm heavily medicated still so forgive me. But here's what I think made their marriage work:
They had a godly marriage. And they laughed. That seems to be the key.
I never had any of those things, so if you'd like to point to reasons as to why mine didn't work, I tend to take things a little too seriously and it just never really was a godly marriage. It wasn't the example my parents set.
One more thing, my dad's last smile? When the nurse told him the morning of March 3 he was going to see his wife later.
I love him so much. I'm almost 23 years old and I still want to marry my daddy.
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