I Want to Hold Your Hand



Pop, Megan and I on her first Easter in 2009.

What a week.... some far too personal to post here. (Which says a lot since I'm fairly upfront about everything, too upfront)  But what I can post about that happened this week... My Dad's 83rd birthday.  Only, he wasn't here to celebrate it.  I won't lie, it was a difficult day.  I could hardly focus on my finals and was actually thankful for the crazy week because it kept me distracted.  But in all of that I forgot what birthdays are for.  They're for honoring the one born, and I believe that goes for after they've passed on as well.  So here goes:

My Dad was the best that anyone could ever ask for.  Care to know how many times he let me down? Twice.  The second was when he was in the hospital this last time.  He said he'd call our tax man for me when he got home.  Now, Pop never promised anything, he only said he'd do it.  That was worth more than a thousand promises.  But, we all know why he didn't call the taxman.  I think I knew he wouldn't be calling him, but I asked anyway because Pop always did what he said he'd do, maybe that'd give him what he needed to get out of that hospital.  It didn't work, but dang I tried.

But the first time he ever let me down...

He had just had some skin cancer removed from his hand the day or two before and still had the stitches from it.  I was probably about 4 or 5 and I was a goof.  Where the stitches were looked like a closed eye so I called it his sleepy eye.  Here we were a couple days later and he said we could walk up to the park and on our way out the door he shut the door on that hand and busted the stitches.  He had to go right to the doctor and we didn't make it to the park.  Obviously I totally understood, but I think he took it harder than I did.  It was probably the first time in his life he didn't follow through.  See, I quickly understood and just went on with life.  But for the rest of his life he'd always say, "That was the only time I didn't do what I said I'd do."  Whenever he said that I knew he would follow through with whatever he'd told me.  He used that story to prove himself and encourage me.  It's true, that was the only time he didn't do what he'd told me he would.

I remember sitting next to him in the ICU and holding that hand.  See I'm a freak and remember people's hand anyway, but especially his.  I saw the scar from his sleepy eye and was reminded of how faithful he was.  No one else has been so faithful to me.  He was a wonderful man and I'm so glad I get to say that he raised me.